Testimonials

Precious Gemma Celebrates her First Birthday

By Martin van den Hemel - Richmond Review
Published:February 17, 2011 5:00 AM

An incredibly special birthday was celebrated among family, friends and unfamiliar faces who gathered inside Amanda and Charlie Bostik's home this February.

Gemma Violet Neselle came into the world on Feb. 18, 2010, and for the past year has touched the lives of everybody she's met.

Born with a terminal neuromuscular disorder, Gemma's muscles aren't strong enough to allow her to do most of the things other babies do.

Yet somehow, with a sparkle in her eyes and a smile, she conveys love and warmth that's beyond mere words.

On Saturday, some 30 people came to Gemma's side to mark her special day.

It was a year ago this week that Amanda was rushed into an emergency Caesarian section two months before her due date, and delivered Gemma, who needed to be resuscitated following delivery.

Doctors told the first-time parents that Gemma had a disorder that was not "compatible with life."

The shocking news was followed by countless questions with few answers.

To that point, Amanda's planned pregnancy had been completely healthy and to this day Gemma's precise condition remains undiagnosed.

But the why's have long been supplanted by thank-you's, as Amanda and Charlie's journey with Gemma has been marked with a profound appreciation for every day she remains in their lives.

The everyday business of life has been boiled down to its most meaningful components, and opened the Bostiks' eyes to what's truly important and taught them to take nothing for granted.

"We just see things differently, live differently, now that she's here."

Spending most of their time in hospital at Gemma's side has been stressful and exhausting, and has tested the Bostiks relationship, their emotions, morals and values.

A lot of people asked them how they are managing. But for them, it's simply something that you do for your child, for your family, she said.

Gemma may not be long for this world, but her parents are determined to give her a lifetime of love, and to hold her hand all the way through her journey.

"Gemma overcame so many obstacles. We were told many things that she wouldn't be able to do that she (did) do. There were a lot of opinions but we decided that our daughter would determine her path and we would support her in her journey," Amanda said. "Children like Gemma teach and inspire us more than most can in a lifetime."

After 10 long months in the neonatal intensive care unit at B.C. Women's Hospital, the Bostiks received an early present when they were allowed to bring Gemma home just a couple of days prior to Christmas.

Then last weekend out came the balloons and birthday cake as family, friends and hospital staff from B.C. Women's helped the Bostiks ring in the occasion they didn't think they'd ever see: Gemma's first birthday.

By sharing their story, Amanda hopes to raise awareness that the neonatal intensive care unit, where premature and critically ill babies are cared for, isn't part of B.C. Children's Hospital, and as a result receives a lot less funding.

"We would like to bring awareness so that people will consider donating towards BC Women's Hospital to help babies like Gemma in the NICU," Amanda said. "Gemma wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the NICU."

When Gemma came into the world prematurely, the Bostiks were unprepared and she remained nameless for a few days. But then they landed on the name Gemma, because she was so small.

"To us, she is so precious. Our precious Gem."

Birthday smiles for fundraising tiles

Sofia's birth at BC Women's was an incredible experience. I was fortunate to have a fairly short labour and delivery and every step of the way, I had wonderful support from doctors and nurses there, including afterward, when I was learning to breastfeed.

I have to say the past year has flown by - I can't quite believe Sofia is already a year old! Still, I haven't forgotten the critical role that BC Women's played in helping me to deliver my beautiful daughter safely into the world.

On April 25, 2008, my daughter Sofia turned one. To mark the occasion, we had a big party with friends and family. But aside from celebrating Sofia's birth, the party served another important purpose.

So when it came time to plan Sofia's first birthday party, my husband and I decided to ask people to donate money for a baby tile to commemorate Sofia's birth in lieu of presents. We thought this would be a great way to direct people's good will to a worthy cause.

When I contacted BC Women's Foundation with my idea, they were incredibly helpful. They provided us with donation cards and return envelopes to include with the invitations. This way, our guests sent in their gifts directly and anonymously.

I look forward to the day that Sofia is old enough to understand what we did to celebrate her birth. I think she will be pleased and proud that she helped thousands of B.C. babies and their families. And I hope our party/fundraiser serves as inspiration to other families in B.C. If every first birthday in the province was celebrated this way, just think of the difference we could make!

A lifetime of giving

For Leila Oldfield, giving generously was part of her everyday life. She gave her time, making cookies and distributing them to the homeless. She fostered a child through World Vision. And she gave generous gifts to the causes that mattered to her. "Leila was such a warm-hearted person," says her niece, Gail Garland. "She was so caring."

Leila had a daughter, Anne, a registered nurse who worked at St. Paul's Hospital. Not surprisingly, Leila supported a number of local hospitals, inspired by her daughter's work. Unfortunately, Anne passed away at age 65, leaving behind her devastated mother. "Like other parents in her situation, Leila was deeply saddened by the fact that she had outlived her only child," says Gail.

Giving is inherent in some people's personality. It could be as small as helping your neighbour mind their children, or a child donating pocket money to charity.

Leila herself passed away in 2006 at the age of 90. But her spirit lives on in the many organizations that she remembered in her will, including BC Women's. "Most of her estate was left to charity," explains Gail. "She was a true philanthropist and set a wonderful example to those around her. We miss her greatly."

From heartache to happiness

My second miscarriage had been particularly devastating. I had been in my second trimester, a time when most women begin to relax a little and worry less. It took me a while to want to try again. When I did, I didn't dare get my hopes up until I received an "all-clear" amniocentesis. Only then was I finally able to enjoy the experience of being pregnant. I even loved the nausea and the weight gain because for me, these symptoms meant that things were going well.

After enduring two previous miscarriages, I had mixed feelings when I learned I was pregnant for the third time. Of course I was happy that I was expecting again, but I was also terribly anxious and worried that something might go wrong.

I am thrilled to say that the rest of my pregnancy progressed normally. On December 14, three weeks before her due date, our beautiful baby girl Lily arrived at BC Women's, just in time to share the same birthday as her father, Rich.

I have never forgotten the care and support I received at BC Women's throughout my journey to motherhood. That is why I decided to become a monthly donor. We are so blessed to have a facility like this in our city, and for me, giving to BC Women's on a monthly basis is a way for me to remain connected and to be reminded of my wonderful experience there.

Mini miracle of Whitehorse

The 'journey' Teri refers to, provided more challenges than most people face in a lifetime. After meeting her husband in February 2007, they married in April. Knowing it was going to be difficult to have children, they decided to "give it a go" for a year, and Teri became pregnant by June.

Thrilled, the couple looked forward to their life with a new baby in their home town of Whitehorse.

But during her 20 week ultrasound, they discovered devastating news. Their daughter's organs were growing outside of her tiny body.

"18 months ago, I'd resigned myself to spinsterhood forever!" laughs Teri Huff, who is now a wife and mother. "I guess the journey we've been on is God's way of making us grow closer quickly!"

Recalling the news, Teri blinks back tears. "It was tough. We didn't understand what was happening, and it could have been one of two conditions."

The first of those conditions was Omphalocele - which is where the organs were growing in a sac outside of the body (and often tied in with the umbilical cord). The second is Gastroschisis, where the organs are not enclosed in a sac.

Living in the Yukon with limited access to specialist medical care - the couple were flown to BC Women's for regular check ups - never really knowing what to expect when they arrived.

Understandably, the knowledge their baby was at risk was a difficult thing to live with. Breathing in deeply, Teri recalls "It was by far the hardest thing I've ever gone through. You really do have to take it one day at a time, and on some of those days I was a mess. But if I concentrated on what was going on each day, it made it easier to get through".

As it would have been very risky for Teri to have her baby in Whitehorse, she arrived in Vancouver early, and waited.

"I ended up being induced, and went through five days of labour!"

After the tough pregnancy, Teri is almost nonchalant when she talks about the birth. "We thought she'd have to go into surgery immediately, but the amazing doctors at BC Women's were able just to poke her organs back in!"

But that wasn't the end of the journey for the new family. Baby Dharma was born with Omphalocele and without a spleen, meaning that she's highly susceptible to infections and germs.

"I really wanted to breastfeed her", explains Teri, "but because she I was induced, my milk wasn't coming through".

With Dharma unable to stomach formula, it was critical she had nutrition - and soon.

"She lost about 10% of her birth weight, which is when doctors start getting worried. It was then suggested we try the Milk Bank at BC Women's. While there wasn't any milk available when we first went down there, the second time we got enough milk to last until I was able to produce enough to feed her".

"It's such a great program! I guess people who haven't been in my situation probably wouldn't understand what a relief it was to have her feeding - but it really helped in her progress. She was out of hospital within only a few days - and not the initial 6-12 weeks we were told."

While Dharma's not out of the woods - the work of the team at BC Women's has brought her this far. "I really think working as a nurse isn't a job - it's a calling for some people, and I was lucky enough to have fantastic care-givers"

After her tough journey, Teri is speaking out to in an effort to grow the Milk Bank program. "It's the only one of its kind in Canada - and it's such a critical service. When I first heard of the milk bank I thought I could donate. I never thought I'd need to use it myself, but I was so grateful when the milk was available."

Tea and Triumph

When my husband and I were blessed to become parents to our two precious children, now ages four and six, we felt we couldn't have dreamed anything better for our lives. We never imagined that our journey would take me through multiple surgeries, and lead me through some of the toughest days of my life.

"My doctor at BC Women's Hospital was a shining example exceptional care and compassion. Because of that I was able to regain my strength and be the strong woman and Mom I am today."

My doctor at BC Women's Hospital was a shining example exceptional care and compassion. Because of that I was able to regain my strength and be the strong woman and Mom I am today. My experiences at BC Women’s have inspired me to organize a fundraising event called Time for Tea. This is how I give back to this very special hospital.